To Hit or Not to Hit?

No pics in this post.  Just a semi-rant.

I started sending my son to preschool a couple of months ago, and I think I was more nervous than he was on the first day.  Ever since both were born, I have been with them everyday.  To send my son off to be under the care of another person made me quite nervous.  The first couple of weeks were especially hard because there was a boy that would hit and poke my son and Jonah would come home and say things like, "I don't feel like smiling today."  It literally felt like my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, and it took all of me to teach him to not be violent back. 

That particular boy was asked to leave because the teachers said he was not quite ready and mature enough to attend the class yet.  So, problem solved.

It's a couple of months later and there's another boy in my son's class that has a major hitting problem.  This kid makes the former boy look like an angel.  He hits many kids in class, apparently, and gets put on time-outs several times a day.  He seems to hit my son almost every class.  He also yelled at my daughter to not look at the same bird he was looking at as all of us were waiting outside for the class to open.  The dad did not say anything and I just kept telling my kids to come stand next to me.

Here's what I've done:
1. Talked to the teacher.
2. Told my son to tell him firmly "Stop.  I don't like that."
3. Told my son to tell the teacher if the boy hits him.
4. Don't play with the boy.
5. Play with his friends that don't hit.

The only comfort I have is that my son still enjoys school and doesn't seem affected by the hitting.  The teachers have also told the class to not play with people who hurt them.  Of course they didn't point out any names or students. 

It is taking all of me to not tell my son to go slug the kid.  I know that sounds horrible (or maybe not so bad to some), but my husband and I have discussed it and we don't want to fight violence with violence.  Of course we want our son to defend himself if the situation is that intense, but we'd rather have a son that can verbalize his feelings and walk away from the situation without resorting to violence. 

But, the boy keeps on hitting and all I can do is think of passive aggressive things to say in front of the dad.  But, the dad is aware of the situation so I'm not sure if that will help at all.  Plus, the dad is quite scary looking. I guess I'm just mad.  My son is not mad, but I'm mad that another boy is putting their hands on my son.  I want the boy kicked out like the first boy and I have no idea why he isn't being kicked out. 

I thought of pulling him out of class, which is still an option, but as mentioned above, my son enjoys it and doesn't seem affected.  Besides, I don't want to teach my son to run away from problems.  I want my son to keep standing up to the boy the way we're teaching him to so that if this similar situation were to happen in later years, he'd know how to handle it. 

It's funny because when I was a teacher, I would always excuse the students with behavioral problems because I knew most of their problems stemmed from the home.  But, as a parent, I've forgotten that and I just want to protect my kid.  On the other hand, maybe this is teaching me how to deal with bullies because I have a feeling that my daughter may be one.  She's one tough cookie. :(

Anyhow, what would you guys teach your children in this situation?  No judgement here.  Thanks for reading the rant.